Day 17: If you could get rid of your mental illness(es) would you? Why or why not?
I don’t know what happened to this post. I wrote it yesterday and posted it and now it has disappeared and published itself without any words. Very frustrating. I’ll try to remember what I wrote yesterday.
I struggle with this because I have said many times that if I could rid myself of this invisible monster, I would do it. But it’s not that easy. I don’t know a time when I haven’t had OCD. I don’t know how to be without it. It’s a part of who I am. Are there parts of OCD I would love to rid myself of? Absolutely. I would love to be free of the anxiety and the fear of everything. But I feel like some of my best assets are tied to my OCD. My ability to analyze, solve puzzles, organize like a champ and have a drive for success – those I don’t want to lose.
I think it’s one of those bittersweet situations. I love some of the characteristics of my OCD, but I hate others. But I think it’s possible to be rid of the anxiety and fear, but keep the good aspects. And that’s what I’m working on.