Today is Father’s Day 2013. I am very lucky to have a dad that has not only been involved in my life since the day I was born, but he is also still happily married to my mom. Days like today make me very thankful for what I have and the wonderful people that I am surrounded by. I find that the support system you surround yourself with can make or break your success with overcoming OCD. I am very lucky to have an amazingly supportive family (in-laws included) and friends. My boss and coworkers who know about my disorder are very supportive and flexible with me when I’m struggling. My boss allows me to work my schedule around going to therapy, which helps me keep the job I love. Overall, my life is pretty great. But I’ve hidden this monster from my family and friends for so long that I feel immense guilt. I feel guilty for putting them through my compulsions and being angry and not knowing why. I feel guilty for easily cutting people out of my life and not opening myself up to others. I isolated myself and my husband because I couldn’t deal with the outside world. Only now am I trying to meet new people, connect with old friends and family, try new foods and travel outside my comfort zone.
I have felt guilty for a long time. And I’ve felt completely worthless, a disappointment and a failure. I’m trying to remember what Winston Churchill said: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” I have only recently realized the true power behind one of my favorite quotes. Failure will not kill you, just as much as success will not last forever. What matters most is how you react to the ups and downs, as well as the seemingly boring middle section. I still struggle with accepting the fact that I’m not perfect and that neither are the people around me. But it’s only with the amazing encouragement from my imperfect support system that I’m doing as well as I am. So today, I’m not thanking just my dad for always being my cheerleader, I’m thanking the whole squad. 🙂